why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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