Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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