words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
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his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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