Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
