we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
