I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
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