i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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