i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
