mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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