Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize