i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
