You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
