My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
