Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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