I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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