haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
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He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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