Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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