Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Randomize
Follow @tfln