do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
