Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize