i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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