operation harelip BJ is a go
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
