I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
