does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I love you.
Bad choice
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
