This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
