Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
