Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
