So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
