Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
At least life still wants to fuck me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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