When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
