oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
