'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
