I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
This is the high leading the old right now
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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