used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
