Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
