So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
