all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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