She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
