I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
