Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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