i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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