i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Mom said you looked used
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
