don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
