Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
