note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize