I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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