her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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