I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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