my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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