there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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