Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
