It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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