Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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