By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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