1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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