nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
