Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
