You really coming over, don't trick.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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