They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize