Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
